Extreme Order: Home Edition
by Terri Bynoe

I was raised in a home with two parents, four siblings and various dogs, cats, fish and turtles, and organization was not always first and foremost in my childhood home. I think I can best say that our home was semi-organized. We all had our chores to do and with 6 of us pitching in, we managed to maintain some semblance of order -- most of the time. I do however remember missing book bags, and the recurrent Monday morning drama of Mom discovering the spoiled milk left in our thermoses over the weekend. "Why didn't you tell me you didn't finish all of your milk?" Seemed she would have figured it out after a while but somehow, she did not.

I am not a very good purveyor of organizational advice, so when dM asked me to write on the subject, I was a bit perplexed. What sort of insight could I lend? Let's just say up front that if you are on a quest for tips on organizing your sippy cups and children's playroom, you may stop reading now. What I can offer is a humorous look at one mom's quest to fit a bit of order into a very busy household with a very busy husband and 3 very busy and growing boys. 

Just as some people are born with perfect pitch (like this month's Lifestyle CEO To Know for example), others may be said to have been blessed with an organizational gene. If there is such a thing, it conveniently skipped my generation. When my husband and I first established our suburban homestead, I earned a solid C in the organizational department. I kept a relatively clean house and I was always able to put my hands on the items I needed, even if they weren't always where they should have been at the time. Good enough. Once children came along my grades quickly dropped. Like  my mother before me, I believed that the day-to-day needs of children and family trumped the dusty armoire waiting for attention. At least that was the excuse I gave myself.

Far be it from me to negate the importance of organization. It is at the very core of greatness. No new nation could be built nor social movement sustained without it. Hence no family can be at its best if order is not incorporated. However, I have been in some homes where this concept is taken to the extreme. 

For instance I have a friend who has a wonderfully organized house. Her children must put away each toy before choosing another, a good practice. They are sometimes late for school because they have to leave their rooms impeccable before they are allowed out the door. Just before I sat down to finish this article, I walked passed the rooms of my darling children, who are off to school. Hmm. Let's just say that Stephanie, my superbly ordered friend, would rather eat worms than be caught in any of those rooms. But when she confessed to me that she sometimes purposefully keeps her children out and about to avoid going home and risking disorder, I thought that was a a pretty extreme maneuver. My dear Steph is a good friend, but I have to say that I do cringe when faced with a visit from her. She assures me she is not judging my home keeping skills but I beg to differ. How in the world could she not? I am Oscar to her Felix and while they loved each other, they were constantly critical of each other's living habits. But then again, they were paid handsomely to cohabitate.

Somewhere there is a happy medium where helter skelter and organization can indeed coexist. Figuring that I am a poster child for this stress-free compromise, I now officially dub myself a "Floscar," a person who decides on whether to organize or not on a case-by-case basis, not feeling compelled in either direction by anything other than what is needed in the home at any given time.

Whether you are a Floscar or a Stephanie, I hope you don't stress too much over your particular label. After all, isn't what's most important that we love our families and give them best of ourselves, whether in chaos or neatness? My home is lived in just as it should be. In fact, you can stop by anytime for a cup of tea. But if you're a Stephanie, give me at least 6 months notice so I can coordinate your visit with a call to the contractors to come out and dust off the chandeliers. Oh! And bring your own tea cup.

_______________
Terri Bynoe earned a BA from the University of South Carolina with a concentration in Psychology while raising 3 boys. She puts her professional training and keen sense of "what makes people tick" to good use in her home, community and anyplace else where she can edify and encourage others. Together with her husband, an emergency room trauma surgeon, Terri serves on several non-profit and charitable boards and is making a positive difference in her Columbia, South Carolina community.