Celebrate You!
by Marcia Davis Taylor

The media bombards us with images of women who are pencil thin, who look flawless 24 hours a day and who manage their myriad responsibilities without ever breaking a sweat. Seeing this, we often fall into the trap of believing the hype and setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves. As if we weren't hard enough on ourselves, we also strive to live up to the expectations of our spouses, our children, our extended families, our friends and our neighbors.

The stress of trying to be all things to all people can be especially debilitating during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. If we are not careful, we can lose ourselves in the flurry of activity designed to feed into the commercialism that threatens to overwhelm the true meaning of the Christmas season. In one of my recent life balance workshops, a participant said that she would love to build self-care and pampering time into her life, but she didn’t know how or where to begin. That is a challenge we all face, but it can be overcome. As always, the first step is the most difficult, but once taken, it paves the way for forward motion and eventual success.

Make a decision to begin this holiday season by giving yourself the gift of you! And don't stop when the holidays end. Make it a lifelong habit to rejoice just because of you. Remember that no matter what, you always have you, and you should thank yourself for that! Finding the time to do that is easier than you might think. You can start by choosing from simple activities that can be incorporated into even the busiest lifestyle over a period of time.

· Create periods of solitude and intentional silence.
· Pray, meditate and/or connect with God.
· Express your thoughts and feelings in a journal.
· Record the things you are most thankful for in a gratitude journal.
· Practice yoga.
· Experience and enjoy nature.
· Incorporate aromatherapy products into your daily beauty routine.
· Visit a massage or bodywork therapist.
· Make more healthy food choices that honor your body.
· Participate regularly in some form of physical exercise or body movement.
· Get an annual physical exam.
· Participate in any activity that brings you joy.

Guilt is one of the main barriers keeping women from celebrating themselves fully. When you have a family, a business or a job (or sometimes all three!), taking care of your needs is easier said than done, but failing to do so out of guilt makes no sense at all. To break free of the guilt cycle, first decide if you love yourself enough to take good care of you. Second, realize that if you are mentally, physically and/or spiritually depleted, you cannot fulfill any of your obligations well, leading to more guilt and even greater consequences.

For those who might say, “I don’t have time in my busy schedule,” I challenge you to find out otherwise! If it is important to you, you will make the time. If the only time you can spare is five minutes a day, start with that. Any one of the first three items on the list above can be done in five minutes or less. Pick one you would like to focus on and go with it. Gradually increase the time you spend until you reach a level that is appropriate for your needs.

If you need more help getting started, read 20-Minutes Retreats: Revive Your Spirits in Just Minutes a Day by Rachel Harris, Ph.D. It contains creative “retreats” that can be completed in less than 20 minutes (no more excuses!).

Sacred Pampering Principles: An African American Woman’s Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal, by Delrina Jackson Gandy contains gems of wisdom for women from all colors of the rainbow. The twelve "pampering principles" are a good place to start and each one is only 5 or 6 pages long. Now who doesn't have time for that?!!

In future Self columns, I will expand upon the self-care and pampering strategies listed above. I am excited to be joining each of you on a monthly basis on our personal journeys toward optimal spiritual, mental and physical health and wellness.

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Marcia Davis Taylor is a South Carolina-based certified self-care consultant and the owner of Life-Work Balance Resources. She is a married mom of three, and has been a working mom for 16 years. Her experiences in the field of maternal and child health, and as an independent consultant for Warm Spirit, a health and wellness company, have given Marcia a unique perspective on helping women achieve optimal levels of spiritual, mental and physical health.