T'was The Fight Before Christmas
by Terri Bynoe

Once again, THE season is upon us. Seems like just yesterday we were enjoying the lazy days of summer. The world seemed to move at a much slower pace. There were modified work hours in many offices, along with a lenient dress code. Our children’s homework and projects were a distant thought, along with bed times and sadly, more often than we choose to admit, dental hygiene. We were free, decaying teeth and all. When seemingly, without warning the school bells rang and our serene world vanished. Could chilling temperatures, sweaters and science projects be far behind?

First, there is the invasion of the giant orange pumpkins and yikes, here come the free range turkeys, organic Christmas trees, hand carved kinaras and glass blown menorahs. We are anxious to embrace the inevitable series of celebrations and merriment. It is after all an enchanting and spiritual experience. However, many families’ efforts are eclipsed by the pace car; you know that illusive engine that leads the pack at NASCAR and remains just slightly out of reach. From this point forward I will simply refer to families trying to keep up with the pace car as Pace Families. By now you are wondering where the fight comes in. Be patient I am getting to that.

Pace Family members everywhere, alright mostly moms, are in the race to create the most perfect holiday season imaginable. A certain domestic diva comes to mind as the Pace Family's demigod. Thanks to her success and the success of her progeny, each year, our houses are decorated earlier and more elaborately, our shopping bags are bursting at the seams and our celebrations are intricate and evergreen.

Oh, the fight.

dM has assured me that it is safe to use this forum as a confessional so here goes. Yes, Yours Truly confesses to being at the helm of America's First Pace Family. For a number of years I have embraced the tradition of the Pace Family Christmas card, you know the ones involving a family portrait that is perfect in every way. Each year you must improve upon your previous submission. The children are posed and looking uncharacteristically dapper in some form of matching or coordinating outfits. The background scenery rivals a Thomas Kinkade painting. Even the card frame is an artistic endeavor unto itself. All the while, the brood appears as angels who are the most well behaved children on the planet. Rest assured they are not. As effortless as they appear, these snapshots require much planning and timing is key, a detail not lost on professional photographers.

As you may have already guessed, a few years ago my 3 boys were less than diplomatic during my annual holiday production. What began as frolic quickly turned to all out guerilla warfare. Despite our best efforts at holiday merriment, the Pace Family car inevitably headed for the ditch. Oh, the stress of it all! How would I ever win friends and influence people with a less than perfect Christmas card? With the US Postal Services’ deadline fast approaching, I was forced to pick the best of the worst. The cards could not possibly go out late. There are rules you know.

As I look back at those infamous fracas photographs today, I am more than proud. My three boys are precious even if they are devilish. True, the picture is not fit for a Norman Rockwell painting but I can see the amount of growth, in numerous ways, each has achieved. Even though I smile with contentment, part of me is just a wee bit sad that the years are, as they must, parading by at breakneck speed.

Are you striving for the "ideal" holiday? Or are you enjoying the process of  creating a wonderful world for your children, family and friends, even if it is less than perfect? No matter what you are striving for this holiday season, in the chase, try not to exchange the beauty of real life for the sterility of unattainable perfection. Let us never take ourselves too seriously, fail to see the beauty in imperfection or forget to once in a while laugh at ourselves.

Happy Griswald Christmas* to all and to all a good night!

*Griswald Christmas is a reference to "Christmas Vacation," the 1989 movie in which, despite his best efforts to orchestrate the perfect Christmas, the patriarch of the Griswald family manages to write the ultimate script for a disastrously slapstick-filled holiday. 

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Terri Bynoe earned a BA from the University of South Carolina with a concentration in Psychology while raising 3 boys. She puts her professional training and keen sense of "what makes people tick" to good use in her home, community and anyplace else where she can edify and encourage others. Together with her husband, an emergency room trauma surgeon, Terri serves on several non-profit and charitable boards and is making a positive difference in her Columbia, South Carolina community.