Risky Behavior
by Carrie Myers Smith

My three oldest sons have been skiing for several years now. Me? I chose safety (that is what the ski lodge is for, right?). Of course, my excuse was that I had to stay with my youngest, who wasn’t old enough to join the school ski group yet. Well, actually, he was old enough last year, and he took one lesson—without me—and decided he’d had enough (actually, his precise excuse was “My leg hurts…”). So this year, I knew the only way I was going to get him out on the slopes was to -- gulp -- attempt to ski with him. 

For those of you who already ski, let me just say that I had been on skis just once -- in high school. I took a lesson and then two of my friends talked me into going up on what they claimed was a beginner’s trail. Let me also point out that this mountain is steep and icy. It’s also the mountain where Bode Miller learned his funky, unconventional -- yet gold medal --winning style. (For those of you unfamiliar with Bode, he was the No. 1 skier in the world in 2005 and this year’s most targeted media blitz, due to some controversial comments made in a “60-Minutes” interview.) Let’s just say that my trip down the mountain was successful, only in the sense that I actually made it down. And since being a human snowball isn’t high on my priority list, I vowed never to attempt such a ridiculous thing again. 

I guess you could say I’m not a risk-taker at heart. I like safe. I wear my seatbelt. I wear a helmet when I ride a bike. I choose safe activities -- you know, ones that I know I’ll be successful at (barring that one attempt at basketball my freshman year in high school, but we won’t mention that…). I draw on my strengths and limit my boundaries, staying safe within them. So the idea of sliding downhill standing on two sticks never appealed to me because it wasn’t within my “safe zone.” Yet my son still needed to learn how to slide downhill on two sticks. And those of you who are mothers know that left me with no choice. And so all winter long, I have practiced expanding my boundaries and while I'm not an expert skier by any stretch of the imagination, I haven't broken any bones. I also enjoy newfound confidence and a sense of accomplishment. And last but not least, as it turns out, my son is a fantastic skier.

Maybe skiing isn’t in your immediate future. But maybe getting out and walking is. Or joining the local gym. Or doing an exercise video. For many women, the activity in question doesn’t have to be inherently dangerous or difficult in order to be risky. Most of us walk, so walking isn’t something that most people see as risky behavior. But for women who are uncomfortable with moving their bodies, walking in public is very risky indeed. After all, we reason, what will my neighbors think when they see me jiggling in my sweat pants? 

We all know that moving our bodies is good for our health. But we still find excuses not to do it. How do you feel about moving your body? Have you put off physical activity because it’s safer to stay within your limits? People look at me and assume that I’m confident and athletic and can do anything, because of the way I look. Yes, I am pretty fit. But let me set the record straight: I am not athletic -- which is why skiing was so far out of my safety zone. Of course, I wasn’t about to admit that, so I covered it up with other excuses. My best one: We don’t have medical insurance and I don’t want to take a chance on blowing out my knee or breaking my neck. Not a bad reason in the scheme of things, especially since I'm my 4 boys' only mother. But it was still an excuse and in the end, should I stop living just because I don't have health insurance?

Winter has given way to spring, and with it the end of the 2005 ski season. And guess what? My body is still all in one piece. So is my pride. In fact, stepping out of my boundaries has given me a new confidence, a new excitement, a new breath of fresh air. I can do it! But it doesn’t stop there. If I can ski, I can kick my business up a notch. If I can kick my business up a notch, I can confront and address difficult life issues. If I can ski, what can't I do?? 

Do not allow fears -- or excuses -- to keep you from achieving your best. Take a risk! Be brave! You don't have to be fearless to be brave. All you have to do is acknowledge your fears, and then step out there despite them.

If I can do it, you can too!

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Carrie Myers Smith, a certified personal trainer, speaker and licensed wellness coach, owns Women In Wellness, a free wellness club. Her work has appeared in many national magazines and her first book, "Squeezing Your Size 14 Self into a Size 6 World: A Real Woman’s Guide to Food, Fitness, and Self-Acceptance," is an award-winning book helping women change their minds about their bodies. Carrie lives in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with her husband and four sons.