Good Morning American Mom!!
Good Morning American Mom!! Have we got some news for you! If you have exited the traditional work force, either temporarily or permanently, to enjoy the opportunity to focus on your family while your children are young, you are hurting yourself, your children and society as a whole. So says former visiting Brandeis University Professor Dr. Laura Hirshman. And ABC Good Morning America co-host Diane Sawyer and the producers of last week's "The Mommy Wars" show segments, apparently agree with her.
While the show had the redeeming quality of showing moms and their children in their real home settings, and included interviews of both stay-at-home and working moms, overall the show was unbalanced and poorly assembled on at least three fronts.
First, the show was poorly titled. Of course GMA must generate viewers so they can generate sponsorship dollars, but at a time when so many mothers in America, Iraq and elsewhere are losing their children because of a war, it is irresponsible and insenstiive to associate a show about motherhood with the topic of war. The challenges of a traditional career pale in comparison to what mothers face, even if when they are "at home" 24 hours a day with no outside job responsibilties. As mothers, we should not allow GMA or anyone else to label us as being at war. We should not allow them to create a battle where none exists. We should instead inspire them to join us as we demonstrate respect for every mother's choices when it comes to addressing her particular issues of work, health, life, family and mothering, even if they are not the ones that we would make.
Second, no minority mothers were included in the show! According to 2003 Census Bureau statistics, the African American and Hispanic populations collectively account for well over 25% of the American population. Every one of these people has a mother, which means that the issue of mothering and how it is accomplished affects them, their peers and society in significant ways. I mother two of African Americans, yet no one like me was included in the discussion. Instead, the segments featured 3 mothers of European descent.
I am an African American mother who left a well paying job as an attorney at a Fortune 500 company long before I had children because I knew that I did not want to be in the traditional work force when I became a mother. I wanted more control over my lifestyle and so I started my own home business before my kids were born (before I even married their father) because I knew that I wanted to be more available to my children and also be in a position to contribute to my family's financial bottom line. I know hundreds of African American mothers who have made the same choice. Many of us (and women of European descent) gathered at the first annual Lifestyle CEO Conference in January 2006 to discuss ways to make our businesses successful while we tend to the needs of our family members and ourselves. Including at least one minority in the show would have made it more balanced and reflective of society’s experience as a whole.
Finally, where in the world was the expert to balance Dr. Hirshman's so-called expert proposition that mothers who leave the traditional work force are doing such grave damage to themselves, their children and the universe? People like Dr. William Sears, author of The Attachment Parenting Book would have been a good option. I'm sure there are others, but my point is that despite her visiting professorship, Dr. Hirshman's points of view are not dispositive of the issue and another opinion would have made the segments more balanced and given them more credibility.
The show mentioned Homeward Bound, an article by Dr. Hirshman that was published in an issue of American Prospect magazine. Among other things, the article says this:
"Educated and affluent reader, if you are a 30- or 40-something woman with children, what are you doing? Husbands, what are your wives doing? Older readers, what are your married daughters with children doing? I have asked this question of scores of women and men. Among the affluent-educated-married population, women are letting their careers slide to tend the home fires. If my interviewees are working, they work largely part time, and their part-time careers are not putting them in the executive suite".
Her questions are good, but she left out an entire rapidly growing segment of the economy -- parents who are choosing to open their own executive suites so they don't have to wait for someone else to let them into theirs.
I am the affluent 40-something woman with two children (ages 2 and 4) that Dr. Hirshman didn't talk to, and there are thousands like me. I work from home and my husband recently joined my business. We are not letting our careers slide. On the contrary, we are building new careers that we have complete control over and which offer us the opporunity to create intergenerational famiilial wealth.
We are taking care of our needs while also hiring other people to help us, which helps them take care of their needs. As small business owners, we contribute to a vibrant American economy and we are also at home with our children. We exercise every cerebral muscle we have as parents and home managers. We are saving for our retirement and our children’s college funds. We are intelligent, educated, creative and responsible and we don't have to be in someone else's executive suite to prove it. Our children see us work and they see us play. They are intimately involved in each activity. They know what we do for a living and they often help us do it by stuffing envelopes and making other age appropriate contributions. We save a minimum of 4 hours a day in what would otherwise be rush hour commute time. 4 HOURS! The benefits of this Lifestyle CEO Choice as I call it, are endless.
An increasing number of women are successfully choosing to build their own corporate suites rather than wait to be hired in someone else's. Why wait for society to let us in when we can have the best of both worlds at home where we mange our businesses and stoke the home fires -- without compromising ourselves or our children or society. Take Julie Clark who left a career as a teacher to raise her daughter. She founded Baby Einstein, which she sold to Disney for a reported $25 million. Today, she works with John Walsh (America's Most Wanted) to produce videos to teach children how to be safe in public situations. Or how about Tamara Monosoff, author of the Mom Inventor's Handbook, who left the traditional work force to be with her children. She invented a device to keep children from unraveling the toilet paper and her book has helped countless people build their own executive suites by marketing inventions that are useful to others and contribute to a robust American economy. And what about Lisa Price who started making creams and lotions in her kitchen and today is President of Carol's Daughter, a company that has as its spokespersons Jada Pinkett Smith and Mary J. Blige, and which is worth in the millions of dollars? All 3 of these women appeared on my radio show to share their experiences and their business success strategies and tips.
I hope that Ms. Sawyer and the team of producers of the segments will consider revisiting the issue of mothers at home, and next time provide balanced expert opinions, examples of African American and Hispanic mothers, and also women who are building their own corporate ladders from the convenient venue of their own homes, while also fulfilling familial obligations.
What do you think?
So many things about life can be challenging, even difficult. But when you make the best of it anyway, it will always surprise you for the better. This was the case with the first Lifestyle CEO Conference where women from around the nation gathered for inspiration, encouragement and unparalelled networking. We laughed, cried, learned, shared and generally lifted each other up to new heights as we made strides toward Breaking All The Rules, Building Our Own Corporate Ladders and Creating The Lives We Love!
