"Balance is a feeling of harmony, when my personal and professional lives are simultaneously at peace. It helps when balance is achieved frequently. Life is less stressful when things are in balance. It is unrealistic to expect balance 24/7." Deborah, mother of 3, Washington, DC

"Balance is going to work out without thinking of all the things I could be doing instead. If you ask me tomorrow, the answer will be different." Nicole, mother of 1, Maryland

"Balance is being satisfied with your accomplishments and having enough time to enjoy them. By the way when I refer to accomplishments, I mean big and small. Some days it is a major accomplishment just to brush your teeth and get your panties on the right side -- plus pick up take out dinner for the family." Terri, mother of 3, South Carolina

"Balance is having all that I am passionate about at the moment in motion. I am taking care of my household: having the meals planned for the week, getting quality time in with my toddler, having childcare set up (and financed) for when I am away, etc. I am taking care of myself: nourishing my spirit with God, working out regularly, making healthy food choices, being well-groomed (hair, nails, eyebrows, and clothes are neat and flattering), and having quiet time to think; I am satisfying my career as an actress by auditioning and working in television or film, being in an independent production that I'm proud of, working on something that I am creating on my own, or by taking a great workshop or class; and, I am completing my training hours as a Massage Therapist and prospering my Mobile Massage business in the process. Making time for each part of who I am right now -- keeps me from slipping into depression and feeling like I'm neglecting my aspirations and myself. I plan for the week on Sundays (meals, appointments. childcare), and each night by scheduling the following day (making adjustments to the weekly plan as needed), picking out what to wear, defrosting whatever food I may need for the next day's dinner, and catching up on quiet time once my husband and child are asleep. I have discovered that maintaining this sort of "balance" in my life is essential for me. I'm not sure if this need is driven by sheer ambition, or by the absolute fear of slipping into an automated life that is "regular" and meaningless." Kia, mother of 1, California

"I work from my home and home school my daughter, while I love my husband and mother my child. I consider a weekly menu, grocery shop and do laundry, while I plan time with my mom and my friends. I make soap, attend meetings and design and maintain a web site, as I contemplate our next educational field trip. During all of this and more, I laugh, cry, play and pray, regardless of the hat I am wearing. Within each moment I learn and I grow and I realize that this is my balance. I need each one of these details in my life to practice for the next experience. This is the way I enjoy my life. It takes all these parts to make me whole." Ellie, mother of 1, Georgia

I thought I'd share some of these perspectives from around the country because they illustrate something that I think is significant. No one really has balance. And not only that. No one is really looking for it either. What we seek instead are challenges and activity. We need to feel that our lives are complete in a holistic way, even though at any given point in time, things are not perfectly balanced. We are embracing the joys of life and all of the challenges that come along with it, even though we rarely actually feel a state of balance.

Balance is not a prerequisite to creating the life you love. And that's good news because if you've been waiting to feel a sense of balance or gain some kind of "control" over your life before creating the life you love, here's your permission to stop waiting and start creating! Give yourself permission to enjoy life even though things are not in balance. What we need more than balance is the sense that our lives have meaning and that we are connected to the things we care about -- spouses, children, business, female friendships, eating, exercising, chores, etc.

On balance, what we crave more than anything is so much more than a feeling of balance. Instead, we crave the knowledge that what matters most to us comes together to form an integrated whole. Not a balanced whole, but an integrated one. Where we can pick and choose what we want of life at any given time, schedule it in and with all the passion we can muster, enjoy every chaotic minute of it. And then get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

That's creating the life you love.